The word count in picture books represents valuable real
estate and can’t be wasted. Each word has
to work together to paint a picture, to pull in the reader, to create
characters we love. With today’s picture books being no more than 500 words, writers have to use each
word to its greatest potential. That’s
why it's important to SHOW the reader something, instead of simply TELLING about it.
If you have another writer critique your manuscripts, you
might hear them say, “Oh you really need to change this from showing to
telling.” Seasoned authors understand
this concept, but beginning writers might need some help getting a grasp on this idea.
I recently received a joke from a friend and thought it was
the perfect example of showing not telling. It isn’t particularly applicable
for children, but it should get the point across:
At the wedding
reception, the photographer yelled, 'Would all the married men, please stand
next to the one person who has made your life worth living.'
The bartender was
almost crushed to death.
When you read this, what kind of mental image did it
produce? You, the reader, didn’t have to
be told that all the men rushed to stand next to the bartender. The last line gave you the information without actually saying it. That’s showing.
Showing makes us care about the character, the location, the
events of the book. It builds a
connection between the reader and the story. As an author, the last thing you want your
readers to think is, “So what? Why
should I care about this?”
When I was
young, I read every book James Oliver Curwood 
wrote. I loved the descriptions of the characters
fighting their way across the frozen tundra.
Although it’s been a long time (a very long time!) ago, I still distinctly
remember looking up from one book and being astounded to feel the heat
of a July summer afternoon after being completely engaged with the frigid
cold and blizzard in the story.
wrote. I loved the descriptions of the characters
fighting their way across the frozen tundra.
Although it’s been a long time (a very long time!) ago, I still distinctly
remember looking up from one book and being astounded to feel the heat
of a July summer afternoon after being completely engaged with the frigid
cold and blizzard in the story.
Let’s look at some examples of showing not telling concept. I’ll use some early work of mine which
exemplify telling and turn it into showing.
Telling: Jasper happily
chewed his bone.
Showing: With his tail furiously creating a wind
storm, Jasper caught up his bone between his teeth and pranced to his bed.
Although the second sentence uses a lot more words, it gives
us a more rich and defined mental image of the action. Here’s another one:
Telling: Outside, it
was spring.
Showing: The sun was
bright and warm. Soft breezes kissed the tips of the new green grass.
Erika Wassal had a great guest post recently on Kathy Teman’s
website entitled, More Showing, Less Telling.
She suggested asking yourself, “How can I prove this?” Using the
examples above, I could ask, “How can I prove it was spring?” Or, “How can I prove Jasper was happy?”
As writers, we have our own mental pictures associated with
our stories. It’s our job to make the
reader see those pictures and immerse themselves in our story so they
experience it, not just read it.
