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| Thanks to Charles M. Schulz, we know how Snoopy deals with rejection! |
Whatever the reason, some terrific advice is being offered in the blogosphere:
On the Institute of Children's Literature site, Jan Fields welcomes you to her "Pity Party." Among the many fine points she discusses, Jan reminds us is that "rejections are about specific manuscripts in specific situations."
Tara Lazar offers an extensive list of "Common Rejections and What They Mean." My latest rejection, just last week, was a form rejection. That's my second least-favorite type of rejection, with nothing constructive to offer. (For my least favorite, refer to the Black Hole, above ^^^.) But in the past year, I've also heard "It's too quiet," "It's not right for us at this time," and "I didn't quite connect with this in the way I'd hoped." Tara de-mystifies these phrases in her post. Check it out.
So, how do you feel about rejections? I usually feel like this:
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| Photo by Lawrence Whittemore. |
Often, a wise quote is enough to lift my spirits.
"Fall seven times, stand up eight." ~ Japanese proverb
"So you're taking a few blows. That's the price for being in the arena and not on the sidelines." ~ The War of Art, by Steven Pressfield
"Many of life's failures are people who did not realize how close they were to success when they gave up." ~ Thomas Edison
Recently, I also looked over my copy of
THE WRITER'S BOOK OF HOPE: GETTING FROM FRUSTRATION TO PUBLICATION, by Ralph Keyes. The author devotes an entire chapter on "Keeping Hope Alive." I love some of his suggestions:
1) Build a Consolation File -- a collection of information about famous writers who were repeatedly rejected, like JK Rowling, Dr Seuss, and Madeline L'Engle. Author websites can also offer insight and reassurance, such as Dan Gutman's rejection letters for HONUS & ME.
2) Study the acknowledgements in novels. Ralph Keyes says that these often confirm that the author was discouraged while writing their book, they received support from encouraging people in their lives, and that support helped them complete the book and get it published.
3) Attend conferences and courses. Because writers are often so isolated, this will help you see that you are not alone in your feelings and frustrations, nor in your odd work habits. (How many of you write in your jammies? C'mon...be honest...) You can join SCBWI, or meet with a critique group. Be part of a Facebook community. Connect through blogs. Find your peeps. ('Tis the season for Peeps!)
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Ralph Keyes offers several other ways to keep despair at bay and hope alive. (Chapter 9 in my edition.)
Rejection stinks. Someone doesn't like your baby. You have every right to feel crabby and blue. Just don't let it derail you. If all else fails, make a game of it. Heather Ayris Burnell has invited the Sub It Club to play Rejection Bingo with Kirsten Larson. Now that's a great way to deal with rejection!
How do you deal with rejection?
Patty, having the right attitude about it makes it sting less. Sometimes after a bit of time, I only crave some real info about an ms, not the platitudes. Great, helpful post!
ReplyDeleteI agree, Kathy. It helps to have some feedback, so we know how to work on making things better.
DeletePatty, I have that book and it is a good read. Thank goodness for the kid lit community who pick us up and dust us off after a discouraging editor/agent response. Great post.
ReplyDeleteKid lit people are the best! So encouraging and understanding. Just what we need after a rejection. Oh, that AND chocolate.
DeleteGreat post! To answer your question: I keep physical track of the rejections--save the letters, note the black hole expiration dates, etc.--and keep them in my "No Thank You" binder to show future school visit audiences. Once you are published, it's a sweet "revenge".
ReplyDeleteGreat idea, Pat. I remember being at an author presentation where the author unrolled a scroll of rejections that had been laminated together. The sheet stretched from one end of the gym to the other. A powerful visual for the audience!
DeleteI like Stephen King's idea (from his book On Writing): pile 'em up on a spike and when it gets full, toss them in the recycling bin and start again with an empty spike. or file. Unless the editor/agent has something to say about it, I generally don't pay much attention. Had a query rejected and then accepted by same editor - so I know it's totally subjective.
ReplyDeleteSue, the same thing happened to me! A text that had been rejected (at least I assume it had been rejected because I never heard a word about it), was bought several years later by the same editor. That's my reminder about that timing makes a difference.
DeleteWonderful words of encouragement, Patricia. When we've put our heart out there with our manuscript, it's hard not to feel it's been broken when we get rejections. Thanks for helping us keep it in perspective.
ReplyDeleteThose rejections are real heart wounds, yes, and we have to work at healing those wounds effectively. I love, love, love your idea of Rejection Bingo, Kirsten!! Such a fun way to thump our noses at rejections while keeping company with others. Laughter is indeed a great medicine. :)
DeletePatrica, I agree. Sometimes you just have to laugh. The wording does make a difference. I had two rejections in one week. One was nice and the other rejection came off as mean. We must go on��
ReplyDeleteI've been there, Jamie. I had one rejection that stung because the editor basically said she was hopeful by my description of the book, but then it really let her down. But then I went to my critique group and discovered that several of us had gotten the SAME rejection! That was the editor's version of a form rejection! Ouch!
DeleteThank you for this post, Pat. It's a timely one for me. Those doldrums creep inside and make quite a nest.
ReplyDeleteCourage, sweet Charlotte! You can do it. One tiny step at a time. :)
DeleteYes, not knowing is always worse than knowing "no." I do, however, always want to find out "why." Otherwise, it's kind of like trying to steer a ship without navigational tools. Thanks for your perspective and some great suggestions on how to deal with rejection!
ReplyDeleteSo true, Jilanne. Hard to move forward sometimes.
Delete"An old buddy of a book..."
ReplyDeleteThat's a mighty apt description for Bird by Bird & illustrates how fine a writer you are, Pat.
I feel your rejections will turn into contracts with a preferred publisher.
Since you can think about the forthcoming picture book, I would allow a minute or two of joy over that.
Techniques I employ with every manuscript rejection-
one*
Guesstimate, were it to be traditionally pubbed. how much $ will be invested in my manuscript - halve the amount & consider what I would buy for that $. Likely, nothing.
I'd just keep banking/investing it. It's a huge amount of $. They HAVE to be cautious & know it is the real true gen. for them. We know that but turning the tables & picking something that we would spend the money on, helps me understand it to the core.
two*
Remember the last time I shopped. Such as this lunchtime today, for literary themed items as a gift for our book-loving gal. I looked all over a wonderful site where I immediately zeroed in on about 50 items that are super. But, prudent purseholder that I am, I narrowed it to 3 cuties. And still, I didn't buy. I will go back & consider later. After looking elsewhere. This helps me understand an editor's delay. I am such a tough sell on anything I buy. They've got to be even tuffer, me thinks.
This is a nourishing & helpful post that we can all nest in.
Nice techniques, Jan. I love the reflections on an editor's delay. :)
DeleteThis is a terrific post, Patty. Thank you for your encouraging words. As I keep sending my babies out there, I find I have gained confidence in my own work and that makes it easier to shrug off rejections. It's usually not about me, or my writing -- it's usually about timing and fit. Write on, all!
ReplyDeleteWay to go, Christy!
DeleteYes, great words of encouragement. Years ago I started a writing scrapbook that holds things I've published in various venues. When I'm feeling blue, I can look at it and remind myself that I'm still a writer.
ReplyDeleteGreat idea, Tina! Small steps add up to amazing accomplishments.
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