Rebecca and illustrator Alyssa Russell have created an evocative book that discusses the death of a grandparent in an accessible, heartfelt way through lyrical text and soft, whimsical art. Books like this give both children and parents a way to share and examine their feelings when a loved one dies.
What distinguishes Rebecca and Alyssa's book are the tangible ways children can share and move through grief with family, religious and cultural rituals. The granddaughter recounts moments and memories they created together– from walking on the beach, sharing laughs during sleepovers with friends, to being fashionistas. She creates a special memorial stone to remember her grandmother for the first yahrzeit, or anniversary, of her passing. At the unveiling ceremony, Jewish people leave stones because stone is permanent unlike flowers that don’t last. The theme of making lasting memories that can be seen and touched is a very powerful and comforting motif.
Craft Chat with Rebecca Gardyn Levington
Kathy: As we chatted about your newest picture book, we discussed the way grandparents and older characters are typically depicted in stories. This grandmother is active and involved with her granddaughter and with other children as seen in the sleepover spread. Did you have an overarching art note for illustrator Alyssa Russell when you created this manuscript? What background did you draw from to create the interactive relationship between the characters?
Rebecca: Thanks so much for inviting me on the GROG, Kathy! I’m so honored to be here.The primary inspiration for this book was my Grandma Charlotte, my Gram. She was just 46 years old when I was born, so I had her in my life for almost 40 years and she was truly my best friend. This book was also very much inspired by my step-mother, Jackie, who also was huge figure in my life from the time I was 8 years old, and who passed away the same year as Gram.
I didn’t have any illustration notes about what the grandmother should look like in the book. But when I saw that Alyssa’s original character sketch for the grandmother was a very typical “sweet little old grandma” type, I knew I had say something. I absolutely LOVE everything about Alyssa’s illustrations in this book, and I liked the character she’d come up with, but my Grandma Charlotte was anything but typical. She was super hip and energetic. She never knit anything in her life and loved a good party. In fact, she went to Zumba class the morning of the day she died. I also was thinking about Jackie, who was always dressed to the nines with all kinds of sparkly jewelry and never left the house without her hair and make-up perfectly done. So, I asked if we might look at a few alternatives for this character, and Alyssa came back with the perfect hip, fun, cool grandma. I love her. (I love how you advocated for how grandmother should be represented! As a "hip" Nana myself, I applaud this!)
In terms of the activities that the child engages in with her grandmother in the story, I drew on some of my own memories, like going to the beach and trading jokes with my Gram, and the line: “My colorful closet is full of your flair” was 100% an ode to Jackie and her amazing outfits. But some of the scenes were made up because it was also important for me to separate myself from the child in the story to make it more universal and to make sure it didn’t feel too sentimental. For instance, I’ve never been a gardener, and neither were Gram or Jackie, but my Gram and I both love purple hydrangeas, so I wanted to find a way to get that detail into the story. I ultimately ended up cutting the word “hydrangea,” though, after a critique partner worried readers might trip on the pronunciation, so instead I used “tulips and lilacs.”
Kathy: I love the significance of stones you used as a motif for I WISH THAT YOU KNEW. Knowing you are a poet, what other metaphors and themes set this manuscript in motion?
Rebecca: While it’s true that I often include metaphors and other poetic devises in my stories, the stone that my character paints in honor of her grandmother in I WISH THAT YOU KNEW was not meant to be a metaphor or motif. I included it because it is a meaningful Jewish custom I wanted to highlight in the story.
In the book, the main character is remembering her grandmother on the first yahrzeit, or anniversary, of her passing, at her unveiling ceremony. This is the Jewish ceremony at which a permanent grave marker is erected at the grave site. In the story, we see the child decorating a special stone, with the words “I love you,” to honor her love for her grandmother. On one of the final spreads (my favorite, actually, as Alyssa’s art is so stunning), we see the child holding hands with her grandmother walking toward the grave marker so that she can place her stone upon it. The grandmother becomes more and more transparent as they approach, indicating she is no longer of this world. (I love this scene, too!)
Of course, the reason Jewish people leave stones instead of flowers on graves is symbolic and metaphoric. Unlike flowers that die, a stone is solid and permanent, like our memories of our loved one. I talk about this more in the back matter of the book.
In terms of other metaphors and themes, though, I must admit I wasn’t really thinking of any as I wrote this story. This book started off a poem that I wrote around the 10-year anniversary of both Gram’s and Jackie’s deaths. I was missing them both so much, thinking about how much has happened in my life since they left this earth, and how much I wish that they knew. And so, I did what I do when I need help grappling with my strong emotions. I wrote a poem. I never initially intended this poem to become anything other than a way for me to process my grief, but as I continued to write and revise, I felt like there was a more universal story coming through me that might help others cope with their own losses.
Kathy: Rebecca, since your debut with the picture book BRAINSTORM in 2022, you have 9 published books, and this newest makes 10! Then you'll release 5 more picture books between 2026 thru 2028. How do you stay so prolific? Where do these brainstorms come from?
Rebecca: It has definitely been a whirlwind since my first book came out 4 years ago! As you mention, I WISH THAT YOU KNEW will be my 10th published book, and soon after (on Sept 1), my 11th comes out (UNICORN SURPRISE! which is a follow up to my board book, DINOSAUR SURPRISE! which came out last year). And actually, I have 8 more picture books coming out in 2027 and 2028 (3 haven’t been announced yet, which is why you don’t see them on my website yet!)
In terms of where do my ideas come from… Honestly, most of my books start from a feeling that I’ve been struggling with or my kids have been struggling with. I usually begin writing a poem, since that feels much less scary than facing the blank page of a “draft.” Once I have a short poem, sometimes I’ll feel like I have more to say or that there is some kind of story that has snuck in and I’ll start adding to it and shaping it into more of a narrative or give it some kind of arc. I’d say at least ¾ of my books started this way.
Kathy: We chatted on Zoom a few weeks ago about today's market and what is needed to bring a manuscript to print. I know our readers would love your advice and thoughts about topics and pitches.
Rebecca: I think the biggest thing I see missing from the manuscripts I critique is a lack of consideration of the market. If you are writing a book about the first day of school, that’s great because it is a perennial topic that will never go out of style! But, because there are SO many books on the topic, you need to find a new angle, and in order to do that, the first thing you need to do is go out and read ALL of the books that have come out on the topic in the last 5 years, so you know what hasn’t already been done and where your story can fill a hole. And then, in your pitch, you need to be able to explain why your story is different from X, Y, and Z books and WHY yours will offer something to readers that hasn’t been done before. You also need to explain WHO will buy your book, and obviously the more types of readers, the better. I feel like a lot of writers skip these steps completely and it is probably the most important if you want to get it sold to a traditional publisher. Remember, children’s book writing is a BUSINESS. You really need to be able to demonstrate to not only an editor, but their entire financial, sales, and marketing teams that there is a need for this story and give them reasons why you think it will SELL. (Excellent advice for authors in the query trenches, especially the steps that get missed!)
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Rebecca: I’m a HUGE fan of backmatter and yes, I usually do tend to include at least some backmatter in most of my books. I think backmatter is helpful for a few different reasons. First, as you say, it can help the parents and educators who are reading the picture book with a child to help frame the story and give context. Second, great backmatter can give readers a reason to reread the text multiple times to find deeper meaning or to learn more about a topic. Third, in the case of an Author’s Note, back matter can help readers understand why you were inspired by the subject and your reasons for writing it.
Sometime I hear the advice that writers should not spend time fleshing out the backmatter and should just include possible “ideas” with a few bullet points. I think people sometimes think: “why do all that work if you don’t know what an editor will want to include.” But I disagree wholeheartedly.
In my experience, editors really appreciate when the backmatter is completely researched and written because it shows them that I have really thought about how the book could be enjoyed by various audience and used in the classroom. For my debut book, BRAINSTORM!, which is about a little girl who has trouble coming up with ideas until she imagines a storm of ideas swirling around her, I included a list of writing prompts (which I titled “Cloudy With A Chance of Ideas!”) as well as a glossary of writing terms (“A Tornado of Terminology”). I thought these added items would offer inspiration both to kids who already loved writing and to those who needed a boost, and I believed teachers would enjoy the added activities for their students. As it turns out, my editor, Sarah Rockett at Sleeping Bear, told me that it was the backmatter that sold her on the book because it helped her clearly could see (and therefore she could show the rest of her team) the marketing potential when it came to educators.
But even for stories that don’t lend themselves to lesson plans or lots of backmatter, I like to at the very least include an Author’s Note. I find that, even if it never makes it into the final book, an Author’s Note gives the editor an understanding of who you are and the connection you have to the story, which I think helps them understand why you believe the book is needed in the world.
Kathy: What are your plans for this current book launch? Let us know where we can find you in bookstores or for author visits. Congratulations on this lyrical, helpful book that addresses a topic that may find hard to discuss with children.
Rebecca: So, for this book, I decided not to do any bookstore, school, or other launch events. Given the many questions and big feelings this book may elicit, I think this is a book that is best read by a parent or other caregiver with their child, rather than in a story time or author visit setting. Most patrons of bookstore story times tend to just wander in with their kids, not really knowing what the story will be about but expecting it to be a more light-hearted event and not one that could potentially stir up painful feelings for their child without any notice.
That said, I do think books like I WISH THAT YOU KNEW, and other books about death, dying, and managing grief, are extremely important and I hope that parents do not shy away from discussing such topics with their children. When someone dies, particularly if it is a close relative or friend, any child (much like any adult), will naturally feel so many emotions, from loss and sadness to confusion, shock, and even anger. But a child typically has less experience managing those feelings. When adults refuse to talk to kids about a death or dying because it isn’t “appropriate,” it sends a message to kids that they too should hide their feelings or that it is somehow “bad” to express them.
Books like I WISH THAT YOU KNEW can help make discussions around death more comfortable for both the child and adult by offering some distance from the emotions. Talking about how the characters are feeling allows kids to feel that it is ok to also feel those feelings too, and helps them see that they aren’t alone.
I think word of mouth is going to be my biggest marketing strategy for this book, so I really appreciate you helping spread the word about this one. Thanks so much for having me today!
Rebecca Gardyn Levington is an award-winning children’s book author, poet, and journalist with a particular penchant for penning both playful and poignant picture books and poems – primarily in rhyme. She is the author of 18 books for children, including FINDING FORGIVENESS (a Sydney Taylor Book Award Notable and PJ Library selection), WHATEVER COMES TOMORROW (a SCBWI Crystal Kite Honor winner and Northern Lights Book Award winner, which has been translated into 11 languages), AFIKOMAN, WHERE’D YOU GO? (a PJ Library selection which was named one of the best holiday books of the year by both School Library Journal and the Association of Jewish Libraries), SOME DAYS I’M THE WIND (a 2026 Children’s Book Council Librarian Favorite and a 2026 Children’s Literature Assembly Notable), and BRAINSTORM! (a Pennsylvania Readers’ Choice Award winner). Rebecca’s poems and articles have appeared in numerous anthologies, newspapers, and magazines. She lives with her family in Summit, NJ, where she enjoys bouncing on a mini-trampoline, playing Mah Jongg, and eating chocolate-peanut butter ice cream (although not usually at the same time!). Find out more and sign up for Rebecca’s monthly newsletter at www.RebeccaGardynLevington.com.
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