To Quote or Not to Quote: How to Use Quotes Effectively in Nonfiction Picture Book Biographies--guest post by Vivian Kirkfield

Today I (Tina Cho) welcome my critique partner, Vivian Kirkfield, to the Grog Blog. Vivian has so much picture book wisdom to share. Her latest picture book biography, One Girl's Voice: How Lucy Stone Helped Change the Law of the Land, illustrated by Rebecca Gibbon, published in February by Calkins Creek. Something that stood out to me as I read this story was the number of quotes that Vivian shared. I thought she should teach us about using quotes. Take it away, Vivian!

I’m thrilled to have this opportunity to share what I know about using quotes…the words of a real person…in narrative nonfiction picture book biographies. I’ve used quotes in several of my books…last year in PEDAL, BALANCE, STEER: Annie Londonderry, the First Woman to Cycle Around the World, illustrated by Alison Jay…and most recently in my newest book, ONE GIRL’S VOICE: How Lucy Stone Helped Change the Law of the Land, illustrated by Rebecca Gibbbon. Both books are published by Calkins Creek/Astra Books for Young Readers – and edited by the incredible Carolyn Yoder (who loves quotes!).…

Using the actual words that a person said (or wrote) is a powerful technique that can draw the reader in, and help the reader really get to know the character. And it can show a prospective editor that you have done your research.

There are three questions I will try to answer for you:

1.    Where can you find quotes for the character you are writing about?

2.    Which quotes should you use?

3.    How can you add them to your manuscript?

Finding the quotes is the first challenge. If the person you are writing about is alive, you may be able to find books they’ve written or interviews they’ve done…in magazines, newspapers, and even on YouTube. When I wrote MAKING THEIR VOICES HEARD: The Inspiring Friendship of Ella Fitzgerald and Marilyn Monroe, illustrated by Alleanna Harris and published by Little Bee Books, I found quite a few of their interviews on YouTube. ANYTHING a person says or writes can be quoted. I didn’t use any quotations in the text of the book, but I did use them in the back matter when I delved more deeply into the lives of those two icons.

As I researched Annie Londonderry for PEDAL, BALANCE, STEER, I found an article she had written for The World, a New York newspaper, after she returned from her globe-trotting trek in 1895. I snagged a dozen or more wonderful quotes from that column.

And for ONE GIRL’S VOICE, the new book about Lucy Stone, I discovered that Lucy’s daughter had written quite a lot about her mother in several books…and in each chapter, she quotes her mother. Lucy was also a great letter-writer and many of those documents are public record in the Library of Congress. Words written in a letter can also be quoted.

I thought it was especially important to use quotations in a book about a woman who used her voice – with each quote, we are ‘hearing’ Lucy Stone’s voice.

The next challenge is to determine which quotes to use. Anyone who writes nonfiction can tell you that one of the problems of doing research is that there always seems to be too much information. What to keep and what to leave out. That same problem can arise when using quotes…not only which quotes to use, but how much of the quote. When I first submitted the Annie Londonderry manuscript, I had not included ANY quotes. But after two R&Rs, I studied other books that the editor had worked on and I discovered that she loved quotes – I added a ton of them – and many of them were LOOOOONG! But the editor acquired the manuscript…and then asked me to trim the quotes to get to the heart of what Annie was saying.

 By the time I sent the Lucy Stone manuscript, I had a more accurate feeling about how many quotes to include – and how long they should be.

My process is to do the research, keeping a VERY careful record of the location of any quotes I might want to use. But I write the rough draft first…and then I see where a quote might strengthen the story or give the reader a deeper understanding of the character.

The final challenge is to decide where the quotes will be placed. Sometimes, a quote might fit perfectly as part of the text.

And other times, a quote might function best when offset, perhaps on the illustration page.

When submitting a manuscript, I think you can always put each quote at the beginning or ending of the text on the spread where you think it will enhance the reader’s experience (in italics) and the editor who acquires your manuscript (let’s think positively!) and/or the illustrator who is hired to do the art will have a vision for how the quotes should be displayed.

To quote or not to quote…if you are writing narrative nonfiction picture book biographies, I encourage you to check out previously published books and study how those authors successfully used quotes. And I hope you check out ONE GIRL’S VOICE…there is a quote on almost every page. At school visits, I encourage the students to raise their hand as soon as they spot the quote – in that book, each quote is offset as part of the illustration – and most of them are written in cursive. It’s a great way to encourage the kids to be observant…and they love to participate!

I hope I’ve helped demystify the use of quotes when writing nonfiction picture book biographies. If you have any questions, please reach out in the comments or contact me via my website: www.viviankirkfield.com.

Writer for children—reader forever…that’s Vivian Kirkfield in five words. Her bucket list contains many more words – but she’s checked off skydiving, parasailing, and going around the world in less than 80 days. A former educator, Vivian inspires budding writers during classroom visits and shares insights with aspiring authors at conferences and on her blog where she hosts #50PreciousWords and #50PreciousWordsforKids. Her nonfiction narratives bring history alive for young readers and have received the Silver Eureka, Social Studies Notable Trade Book, Best STEM Book K-12, Bank Street College of Education Best Book, and Junior Library Guild Selection.

A Labor of Love: Writing a Compilation of Nonfiction Biographies~a guest post from Vivian Kirkfield

We start 2021 with a fabulous guest post from author Vivian Kirkfield, with a look at writing picture book biographies, using her newest, stellar compilation of picture book biographies, FROM HERE TO THERE: INVENTIONS THAT CHANGED THE WAY THE WORLD MOVES as a mentor text. Being one of Vivian's critique partners, I had the privilege of seeing these 9 stories all come together in one book. Vibrant illustrations accompany Vivian's rhythmic texts. I will say, my favorites are the stories of Bertha Benz and Raye Montague. Take it away, Vivian!

Thank you so much for inviting me to Grog Blog, Tina! I’m so excited to be celebrating the launch of my newest book baby, a nine-story compilation of nonfiction picture book biographies, illustrated by the brilliant Gilbert Ford and published by Houghton Mifflin Harcourt.

Book Baby. When I first heard that term many years ago, I wondered what it meant. A writer friend explained that it was what authors call their new books. Having experienced childbirth three times, I wasn’t sure about equating having a baby with creating a book. The planning. The pleasure. The pain.

Hmmm…then again, maybe creating a book is a lot like having a baby. Especially this one about visionaries whose innovations altered the landscape of the planet. But how, you may be asking, did such a compilation book come about?

The path to publication started in 2016 when I wrote a story about Eric Wickman, the founder of the Greyhound Bus Company. I had gotten in the groove of writing nonfiction bios a year before and I already had a contract for Sweet Dreams, Sarah. My sister told me about a friend who was a friend of Eric’s granddaughter. A Swedish immigrant, Eric came to America in 1905 with only $60 in his pocket. After several failed business ventures, he opened a car dealership, but when he couldn’t sell even one car from his showroom, he bought it himself and started a shuttle service.

That felt like such a great story to me. I did some research and was able to speak with the granddaughter who was extremely helpful. When the story was ready, my agent sent it out on submission – and in the summer of 2017, the amazing Ann Rider at HMH let us know she loved it. However, she had a concern because Eric Wickman is pretty unknown and she worried that the bus wasn’t a popular enough vehicle to merit a stand-alone picture book. Would I be willing to write a few more narrative nonfiction bios about inventors of other things that go?

Of course, I said YES! Ann originally asked me to give her a list of 5 or 6 ideas. I submitted a short list with a brief description of what I might write. I guess you could call that a proposal, but it was nothing like a true nonfiction proposal…here’s a glimpse of what I sent her:

READY! SET! GO!

From the beginning of time, people longed to go. Fast. Slow. High. Low. First, they walked. Next, they used animals. Then they set their sights on faraway lands, peered into the depths of the oceans, and cast their eyes on the stars, and wondered…how can we get there?

With a bucketful of determination, a willingness to work hard, and a spark of imagination, these visionaries changed the way we go.

Note to editor Ann:

I’m attaching the two sample stories: BUS (tightened from 650 words to 420, hopefully keeping all the fun and quirky bits that you loved) and BIKE (which you mentioned you thought would make a very kid-friendly chapter).

And here are some ideas for the other three or four things that go, but I am open to any ideas you have and can research and write on any topic you prefer.

COMPUTER-DESIGNED SUBMARINE: of great interest because it gives the collection some diversity (Raye Montague is an African-American woman, one of the hidden figures, not of NASA as portrayed in the movie, but of the Navy during the 1950’s).

SKATEBOARD: originally created by surfers in California to use when stormy oceans prevented them from riding the waves. They screwed roller skate wheels onto their boards and surfed the city streets. And in 2020, skateboarding will debut as an official sport of the Tokyo Olympics.

HOT AIR BALLOON: has a fabulous aha moment and was invented by two brothers working together as a team –  the creative genius with ADHD, and the practical scientist who kept the project on point. (I wrote this as a stand-alone picture book, but can tighten it for the compilation).

CAR: might never have left the workshop of Karl Benz if not for his wife’s secret plan to promote the car by taking the kids on a road trip to grandma’s house. (there is a stand-alone picture book coming out in October from Charlesbridge)

Ann and I chatted, both via email and on the phone, as we made decisions regarding what stories I should write. Early on, she encouraged me to be careful with my research:

Looking forward to chatting, Vivian!   Just fyi, as you write the stories, its best to keep notes for the back matter close at hand.   Documentation has become more important these days; all direct quotes, for example, need citation.   We can discuss further but, in the meantime, attached please find documentation guidelines from HMH.

 Over the next few months, I researched and wrote. In October, Ann decided that instead of targeting Grades K-2, we were going to gear the stories to Grades 3-6. In addition, she suggested we change the title to THINGS THAT MOVE so that we could include robotics. By December, I had a better idea of what I wanted to do and had already written a few of the stories although I still didn’t know how many stories there would be. I reached out to Ann again with this email:

 Hurray! What a joy to connect with you! Yes, I, too, am excited about this project and thrilled to join with you in shining a light on the lives of these incredible visionaries.

 You mentioned that Eric Gets America Moving is perfect in tone and format...this truly helps me as I craft the other stories for the collection. I thought it would be cool to have inventions that span air, water, and land. Each was a ground-breaking moment in history that changed the way the world moved and left a legacy that touches our lives today. In addition to that BUS story:

·  TRAIN (All Aboard: George Stephenson and the First Steam Passenger Train - which you have seen and which already has the sidebar notes).

·  BIKE (With His Own Two Feet: Karl Drais and the Invention of the First Bicycle - this needs sidebar notes and I hope you love this story as much as I do...I think kids will think it is cool to find out how and why the first bike was built)

· BALLOON (The Boy Who Dreamed of Flying: Joseph and Etienne Montgolfier and the First Manned Balloon Flight which has an awesome AHA moment and is polished, but would need sidebar notes). Or, if you'd rather have a story about an airplane/drone, I could write that.

· ROBOT (George's Robot...taking your suggestion, I wrote a story about the man who invented the first industrial robot which should appeal to kids who love science fiction. It also has a great AHA moment.

· CAR (Genius Camp: How Three Men and a President Paved the Way for Better Roads. It's about how Henry Ford, Thomas Edison, and Harvey Firestone took President Warren G. Harding on a camping trip to convince him to sign a bill to allocate $162 million for better roads...this story is polished, but needs sidebars - or if you don't feel that topic relates closely enough to 'inventing', I also had started writing a story about Bertha and Carl Benz and the first gasoline powered automobile.

· SUBMARINE: I thought injecting some diversity into the collection might be a good idea (Raye Montague is an African American woman) and it gives the book something that moves in the water. The story has a great AHA moment, but I need to flesh the story out and I wasn't sure if creating a program that designs submarines with a computer was too abstract an invention for the book. If you'd prefer another water vehicle, I am happy to research and write that one.

This makes seven...so if you only want five or six, we can eliminate whichever you wish. Or Ann, I am totally open to any suggestions regarding these stories or any others you would prefer for THINGS THAT MOVE. I embrace feedback, revision is my friend, and I look forward to working with you. 

 

At this point, Ann let me know that she really wanted 7-10 stories…and she definitely wanted one about the rocket. She also preferred the story about Bertha Benz over the Genius Camp one. I felt we needed more diversity as well – and I suggested doing a story about the folding wheelchair, which opened doors for mobility-challenged individuals. She loved that idea!

 

In one of her previous emails, Ann had let me know that she loved the structure of the BUS story. And that information was very helpful as I wrote each subsequent manuscript because ‘all’ I had to do was use BUS as a template and recreate the magic. 😊

 

1.     Engaging opening lines.

2.     Child main character who has a dream/goal.

3.     AH-HA moment.

4.     Fun language/great rhythm/excellent pacing.

5.     Legacy paragraph that shows how the invention impacts us today.

6.     Satisfying ending that echoes the opening lines.

 

Once I had my list of visionaries, I researched them, online at first, and then I dug deeper, using books, newspapers, and when I was lucky, interviews with family members. I would write a rough draft and revise and give it to one of my critique groups. And would move on to the next story. When I received feedback on a previous manuscript, I’d revise that one. Somehow, with the help of my amazing critique partners who were always ready to look at a new draft or a revised one, I did it!

 

The contract called for all of the manuscripts to be delivered to Ann’s inbox by May 1, 2018. Counting back nine months brings us to the end of August which is when I started to seriously write these manuscripts. Nine months. Yup…creating this compilation was definitely like having a baby – and, like having a baby, it was definitely a labor of love!

 

 

Vivian Kirkfield~

Writer for children—reader forever…that’s Vivian Kirkfield in five words. Her bucket list contains many more than five words – but she’s already checked off skydiving, parasailing, banana-boat riding, and visiting critique buddies all around the world. When she isn’t looking for ways to fall from the sky or sink under the water, she can be found writing picture books in the picturesque town of Bedford, New Hampshire. A retired kindergarten teacher with a masters in Early Childhood Education, Vivian inspires budding writers during classroom visits and shares insights with aspiring authors at conferences and on her blog where she hosts the #50PreciousWords International Writing Contest and the #50PreciousWordsforKids Challenge. She is the author many picture books including Sweet Dreams,( Sarah (Creston Books); Making Their Voices Heard: The Inspiring Friendship of Ella Fitzgerald and Marilyn Monroe (Little Bee Books); From Here to There: Inventions That Changed the Way the World Moves (Houghton Mifflin Harcourt) and the upcoming Pedal, Balance, Steer: Annie Londonderry, First Woman to Bike Around The World (Calkins Creek/Boyds Mills & Kane, Spring 2023). You can connect with her on her website, Facebook, Twitter, Pinterest, Instagram, Linkedin, or just about any place people with picture books are found.

 

 

 

Crafting a Story with Two Main Characters--Where Giving Each Equal Weight Is Important, Guest Post by Vivian Kirkfield

Author Vivian Kirkfield is no stranger to the kidlit world. You can find her just about everywhere in kidlit social media. Her newest picture book, Making Their Voices Heard, debuted the end of January. I, Tina Cho, invited my critique partner to share her writing expertise with our Grog readers. Take it away, Vivian!

Thanks so much for giving me the opportunity to share on the Grog Blog, Tina. I’ve seen a question come up several times on Facebook groups that are devoted to writing, and I thought I would speak to that.

How do you craft a story with two main characters where giving each equal weight is important?

Before I wrote the draft for MAKING THEIR VOICES HEARD: THE INSPIRING FRIENDSHIP OF ELLA FITZGERALD AND MARILYN MONROE, I used several picture books as mentor texts. One of the most helpful was Amelia and Eleanor Go for a Ride by Pam Munoz Ryan, illustrated by Brian Selznick. Another book was Martin and Mahalia: His Words, Her Song by Andrea Davis Pickney, illustrated by Brian Pickney. I studied how the authors introduced their characters and how they relayed information about their lives and how their lives connected.

I’d already done a bunch of research, but none of my sources, mostly books about Ella and Marilyn, spoke about their friendship. I had to become a detective. I contacted the author of one of the Marilyn Monroe books. She didn’t know but she directed me to the website of the president of the Marilyn Remembered fan club. He didn’t know either, but he kindly gave me the phone number of the woman who had been Ella’s promoter for thirty-seven years. It was so hard for me to call her…I’m really timid that way. But I knew I needed the information because I knew I wanted to write an authentic and accurate story for children…and I wanted it to be a story that children could relate to – a story about friendship. Even young kids know about playdates and going to a classmate’s birthday party and how it feels when your friend is mad at you. How to be a good friend is an important lesson for kids. And although it’s true that each of these icons had enormous talent, each was being limited because of discrimination of one kind or another…and it was their friendship and respect for each other which helped break those barriers.

I took a deep breath…or maybe a few…and I called Audrey Franklin. I got her answering machine. And left a message. Miracle of miracles…she called me back the next day - we chatted for hours and she verified that they were, indeed, friends.

So, now I had verified they were friends, but I knew I also had to balance these two superstars. The mechanics of the text set out to do that. I began by introducing both women and pointing out how they are different yet the same.

Ella and Marilyn. On the outside, you couldn’t find two girls who looked more different. But on the inside, they were alike—full of hopes and dreams, and plans of what might be.

Next, I showed how Ella got her start – going from living on the streets to playing with a real band. Then, on the next page, I showed how Marilyn got her start – going from working at an airplane factory to signing a studio contract.

But we need to throw rocks at our heroes, right? And what I love about writing nonfiction is that I don’t have to invent the rocks…these women really faced huge obstacles and barriers. On the next two spreads, I show how Ella, though a jazz phenomenon, battled racial discrimination. And then I show how Marilyn faced an industry run by men who controlled her career.

So far, so good. I was keeping it pretty even and balanced. Now I wanted to show how Ella helped Marilyn…and then how Marilyn helped Ella. The nightclub incident where Marilyn persuades the owner to book Ella by promising to bring the media to his doorstep was easy. There was plenty of online information about that – and Ella even speaks about it in an interview. But how was I going to show how Ella helped Marilyn? That was definitely a challenge.

I found interviews where Marilyn mentioned how much she loved Ella, not only as a singer, but as a person. Ella was actually her idol…Marilyn was a fan girl! And then I read several articles that spoke about how Marilyn studied Ella’s voice to improve her own vocals to get ready for her singing role in Gentlemen Prefer Blondes. Bingo! When critics gave Marilyn rave reviews and her bosses amended her contract and gave her a higher salary and more control over script approval, I knew I had what I needed. Because this was a BIG deal – it’s what she had been fighting for all along. Marilyn also used Ella’s records to help with her insomnia – she’d fall asleep listening to Ella’s voice.

Now when Marilyn spoke, her bosses paid attention. And reporters and photographers followed her everywhere. Determined to thank Ella in person, Marilyn bought tickets to Ella’s next show.

After the show, Ella and Marilyn sit shoulder to shoulder, chatting. When Marilyn discovers that the Mocambo club refused to book Ella, she wanted to help her friend the way her friend had helped her.

Putting their heads together, Marilyn and Ella hatched a plan.

And I love the illustration Alleanna Harris did.

Marilyn put her career on the line to a certain extent because in those days, there was a lot of racial discrimination (not much has changed, unfortunately) and movie studios controlled what their actresses could and couldn’t do. By calling the nightclub owner and insisting that he book Ella, Marilyn stepped up and spoke out. This is what we mean by allyship. You don’t just give money to the cause…you step in and make it happen. The Civil Rights movement was just in its infancy…in fact, the nightclub incident happened in 1954 and it wasn’t until the end of 1955 that Rosa Parks refused to give up her seat on the bus.

I was able to show that both of these strong women admired and respected each other. Ella said, “She was an unusual woman – a little ahead of her time. And she didn’t know it.” And Marilyn said, ““Well, my very favorite person and I love her as a person as well as a singer. I think she’s the greatest and that’s Ella Fitzgerald.”

I also wanted to show how we are all complex individuals. Most of us know Marilyn as a sexy Hollywood star…and kids probably don’t know her at all. Similarly, most kids may never have heard of Ella, but her music was genius…in fact, at the very first Grammys in 1959, Ella Fitzgerald won for best female pop vocalist and best improvised jazz performance. I thought it was time for kids to discover these two special women and how differences in race, color, and creed played absolutely no role in their amazing friendship. And how poignant a time for a book like this. We can, and must, all step up, making our voices heard for what is right, so that our nation can be healed. Covid-19 will, at some point, have a vaccine that will protect us from it. But this sickness of hatred and anger can only be healed with kindness, love, compassion, and with the willingness to listen to the voices of people of color.

Most of you who know me know that I am an extremely optimistic person and I’m always trying to find a positive, even in the darkest of times. My older sister used to call me Pollyanna, after the storybook character who finds something to be glad about in every situation. And I think I have found it. Young people are stepping up and refusing to allow this hatred to go on. A high school junior reached out to me last week. As a school service project, she is building a website where she will showcase videos of teachers reading aloud books from different cultures. She wants to use Sweet Dreams, Sarah and she wrote to ask my permission. Of course, I checked with the publisher who is totally on board. What thrilled me the most were the young girl’s words: “Your book has had a profound impact on my life and has given me the confidence to use my voice.”

And THAT is why I write books for children! Just like Ella and Marilyn, everyone needs to make their voice heard.

Bio: Writer for children—reader forever…that’s Vivian Kirkfield in five words. Her bucket list contains many more than five words – but she’s already checked off skydiving, parasailing, banana-boat riding, and visiting critique buddies all around the world. When she isn’t looking for ways to fall from the sky or sink under the water, she can be found writing picture books in the quaint village of Amherst, NH where the old stone library is her favorite hangout and her young grandson is her favorite board game partner. A retired kindergarten teacher with a masters in Early Childhood Education, Vivian inspires budding writers during classroom visits and shares insights with aspiring authors at conferences and on her blog, Picture Books Help Kids Soar where she hosts the #50PreciousWords International Writing Contest and the #50PreciousWordsforKids Challenge. She is the author of numerous picture books. You can connect with her on her website, Facebook, Twitter, Pinterest, Instagram, Linkedin, or just about any place people with picture books are found.

Vivian's books:

PIPPA’S PASSOVER PLATE (Holiday House) illus by Jill Weber

FOUR OTTERS TOBOGGAN: AN ANIMAL COUNTING BOOK (PomegranateKids) illus by Mirka Hokkanen

SWEET DREAMS, SARAH (Creston Books) illus by Chris Ewald

MAKING THEIR VOICES HEARD: THE INSPIRING FRIENDSHIP OF ELLA FITZGERALD AND MARILYN MONROE (Little Bee Books, January 14, 2020) illus by Alleanna Harris

FROM HERE TO THERE: INVENTIONS THAT CHANGED THE WAY THE WORLD MOVES (Houghton Mifflin Harcourt, January 2021, illus by Gilbert Ford